I Corinthians 13:4-5: "The Definition of Love, Part 1"
Paul will continue his discussion on love. In the last section Paul spoke about the importance of love, saying that the absence of love would render any good deed worthless. Without love, our ministry, gifts, and deeds are worthless. In this section Paul will help define love by giving us an idea of what love is, and what it is not. The definition of love in this section is not focused on describing love with adjectives, but rather with action. Love is not a feeling or a mood, it is about action. MacArthur points out, "Agape love is active, not abstract or passive. It does not simply feel patient, it practices patience. It does not simply have kind feelings, it does kind things. It does not simply recognize truth, it rejoices in the truth. Love is fully love only when it acts (cf. I John 3:18)".
Paul begins by explaining, "Love is patient". The word patient means "long tempered" in the Greek. It means having a long fuse. Someone who is patient does not allow someone or something to wear him down and lose his temper. It is the idea that even though someone would take advantage of us, or sin against us and we would not get upset. According to MacArthur love's "primary concern is for the welfare of others, not itself, and it is much more willing to be taken advantage of than to take advantage, much less to avenge". All through Jesus life we can see His patience exemplified. Many times He did not take advantage of a situation, or show His power, because it was not in His Father's timing. Even after being tortured and dying on the cross Christ said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). When you truly love someone you never let their actions or annoyances wear you down to lose your temper. You constantly allow them the opportunity to make mistakes and forgive them when necessary.
The next description of love is that it is "kind". MacArthur writes, "Just as patience will take anything from others, kindness will give anything to others, even to its enemies. Being kind is the counterpart of being patient. To be kind (chresteuomai) means to be useful, serving, and gracious". It is the very kindness of God that keeps Him from smiting us the second we sin against Him. "Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" (Rom. 2:4). We must take comfort in the kindness of God, and show this kindness to all those we come into contact with. If we are to truly say we love others, but our actions are constantly condescending, nit-picking, and talking poorly about others, we do not truly love them.
Next, we see that love "is not jealous". This is the first negative description about what love is not. We first saw that it is patient and kind, and now we know that love has no jealousy. MacArthur explains two different types of jealousy. "One form says, 'I want what someone else has.' If they have a better car than we do, we want it. If they are praised for something they do, we want the same or more for ourselves. That sort of jealousy is bad enough. A worse kind says, 'I wish they didn't have what they have' (see Matt. 20:1-16). The second sort of jealousy is more than selfish; it is desiring evil for someone else". As you will notice, all the definitions have in common our putting others needs, desires, and ambitions ahead of ours. When we truly love someone we will be able to be happy for them when they succeed, because we have their best thoughts in mind. It is when we are selfish and desire our own good that we get jealous because they have something that we want. In Philippians 1:5-7 we see that men were jealous of Paul's missionary success in preaching throughout the land. They had went into Philippi to steal away men from Paul's ministry while he was in prison. They desired to have what he had and went out to criticize and cause him harm. However, Paul's response to it is that he rejoiced because people were being exposed to the gospel. Rather than try to exact revenge, or be jealous of what the other preachers were doing, Paul was more concerned about the people's welfare than his own. MacArthur also points out about jealousy, "Jealousy is not a moderate or harmless sin. It was Eve's jealousy of God, sparked by her pride, to which Satan successfully appealed. She wanted to be like God, to have what He has and to know what He knows. Jealousy was an integral part of the first great sin, from which all other sin has descended. The next sin mentioned in Genesis is murder, cause by Cain's jealousy of Abel. Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery because of jealousy". We can see that sin is rooted in jealousy and has no place in a person who loves.
Another thing that love is not is boastful. Paul tells us that love "does not brag". There is nothing that takes away more from someone's good act or faithful deed than when they tell others about it for attention. We can see in their heart that the act was done so that they might boast, rather than help the person they lended a hand to. Boasting is similar to jealousy in that rather than being jealous of what others have, you desire to lead others into jealousy by telling them about what you have. In context to the Corinthians, MacArthur points out, "The Corinthian believer's were spiritual show-offs, constantly vying for public attention. They clamored for the most prestigious offices and the most glamorous gifts. They all wanted to talk at once, especially when speaking ecstatically. Most of their tongues-speaking was counterfeit, but their bragging about it was genuine". The biggest problem, is that they did not care about the unity and proper functioning of the church, but rather about getting praise and recognition for themselves. Love and boasting have no place together.
Tied closely with bragging, is arrogance. Paul writes that love "is not arrogant". Paul had mentioned the arrogance of the Corinthians several times in his letter already. In I Cor. 4:6-8 he writes, "Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? You are already filled, you have already become rich, you have become kings without us; and indeed, I wish that you had become kings so that we also might reign with you". Paul was obviously being sarcastic. His point was so that his readers could understand they were not kings, they had not arrived, and anything good they have done has come through Christ. The easiest way to combat pride and arrogance is to remember what Christ has done, and what we were before Him. If we remember our wretched state (slaves to sin, completely depraved) before Christ came, and to know what He has done for us, it would keep many of us from ever thinking more highly of ourself than we ought to. Christ loved us in order that we might love Him. He humbled himself to become a finite being on our behalf, any gift we have comes from him, what do we have to boast about?
Paul then explains that love "does not act unbecomingly". MacArthur writes, "The principle here has to do with poor manners, with acting rudely. It is not as serious a fault as bragging or arrogance, but it stems from the same lovelessness. It does not care enough those it is around to act becomingly or politely. It cares nothing for their feelings or sensitivities. The loveless person is careless, overbearing, and often crude". We cannot truthfully say we love someone when we do not put their tastes and cares above ours. Even if we don't have a problem with something, if it offends or turns off another person, we should refrain from doing it. It is not our job to deem what is appropriate or inappropriate, but rather, that we would love by being sensitive to what others needs are. Paul spoke about this extensively regarding the weaker brother and the example of the food sacrificed to idols. True love is caring more about the person that being correct.
Another negative as to what love is not, is that it "does not seek its own". This is closely correlated to all the other things mentioned. If we are not seeking our own good, but the good of others, we will automatically be patient, kind, etc. MacArthur writes, "Love is not preoccupied with its own things but with the interests of others (Phil. 2:4). Again, the Corinthian believers were models of what loving Christians should not be. They were selfish in the extreme. They did not share their food at love feasts, they protected their rights on the point of suing fellow believers in pagan law courts, and they wanted what they thought were the 'best' spiritual gifts for themselves". Paul is quick to show them that this is not acting in a loving way. For us to say we love someone, yet constantly seek what is best for us, and not to consider them, proves that your love is false. Christ himself "did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matt. 20:28).
Another thing that love does not do is that it is "not provoked". Love does not cause others to get angry because of our actions. This obviously does not take into account when people respond sinfully to our righteous indignation over something. But in most circumstances, when it does not include compromising your faith, nothing we say or do should cause others to be angry at us. On the same note, we are not easily provoked either. Accept for in the case of righteous anger, we are not to respond in anger or revenge for anything done to us. This is very similar to the patience that was spoken of earlier. MacArthur writes, "Love does not get angry at others when they say or do something that displeases us or when they prevent us from having our own way (cf. I Pet. 2:21-24). Love never reacts in self-defense or retaliation. Being provoked is the other side of seeking one's own way. The person who is intent on having his own way is easily provoked, easily angered. Again, this can be tied closely with other sins, like arrogance and jealousy. We can easily get provoked or angered when we feel we are owed something, and are being mistreated, or if others have something we desire. These are all wrong reasons to get angry. MacArthur practically illustrates, "Telling our wives or husbands that we love them is not convincing if we continually get upset and angry at what they say and do. Telling our children that we love them is not convincing if we often yell at them for doing things that irritate us and interfere with our own plans".
The last part of this section explains that love "does not take into account a wrong suffered". Again, closely related with patience, this is when we do not keep track of others sin against us, but rather are quick to forgive them and reconcile the relationship. Rom. 4:8 says, "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account". This is the very heart of the matter and is what should come to our mind the second we desire to hold a grudge against someone. MacArthur points out, "In God's heavenly record the only entry after the names of His redeemed is 'righteous', because we are counted righteous in Christ. Christ's righteousness is placed to our credit. No other record exists. That is the sort of record love keeps of wrongs done against it. No wrong is ever recorded for later reference. Love forgives". The words, "remember when you...." should never be spoken from loving lips.
As we can see from this first part of the definition that Christ is the supreme example in each of these. God is love, and therefore, Christ embodied every aspect of love. We must remember that this list is not a checklist of things you need in order to love. Rather, it is a list taken as a whole to explain what the actions of someone who loves would look like. This is a list that is to be taken as a whole. Just because we may not struggle with one area does not mean we have made it. May we be humble in our assessment of our love, and be bold in exercising it.
Paul begins by explaining, "Love is patient". The word patient means "long tempered" in the Greek. It means having a long fuse. Someone who is patient does not allow someone or something to wear him down and lose his temper. It is the idea that even though someone would take advantage of us, or sin against us and we would not get upset. According to MacArthur love's "primary concern is for the welfare of others, not itself, and it is much more willing to be taken advantage of than to take advantage, much less to avenge". All through Jesus life we can see His patience exemplified. Many times He did not take advantage of a situation, or show His power, because it was not in His Father's timing. Even after being tortured and dying on the cross Christ said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). When you truly love someone you never let their actions or annoyances wear you down to lose your temper. You constantly allow them the opportunity to make mistakes and forgive them when necessary.
The next description of love is that it is "kind". MacArthur writes, "Just as patience will take anything from others, kindness will give anything to others, even to its enemies. Being kind is the counterpart of being patient. To be kind (chresteuomai) means to be useful, serving, and gracious". It is the very kindness of God that keeps Him from smiting us the second we sin against Him. "Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" (Rom. 2:4). We must take comfort in the kindness of God, and show this kindness to all those we come into contact with. If we are to truly say we love others, but our actions are constantly condescending, nit-picking, and talking poorly about others, we do not truly love them.
Next, we see that love "is not jealous". This is the first negative description about what love is not. We first saw that it is patient and kind, and now we know that love has no jealousy. MacArthur explains two different types of jealousy. "One form says, 'I want what someone else has.' If they have a better car than we do, we want it. If they are praised for something they do, we want the same or more for ourselves. That sort of jealousy is bad enough. A worse kind says, 'I wish they didn't have what they have' (see Matt. 20:1-16). The second sort of jealousy is more than selfish; it is desiring evil for someone else". As you will notice, all the definitions have in common our putting others needs, desires, and ambitions ahead of ours. When we truly love someone we will be able to be happy for them when they succeed, because we have their best thoughts in mind. It is when we are selfish and desire our own good that we get jealous because they have something that we want. In Philippians 1:5-7 we see that men were jealous of Paul's missionary success in preaching throughout the land. They had went into Philippi to steal away men from Paul's ministry while he was in prison. They desired to have what he had and went out to criticize and cause him harm. However, Paul's response to it is that he rejoiced because people were being exposed to the gospel. Rather than try to exact revenge, or be jealous of what the other preachers were doing, Paul was more concerned about the people's welfare than his own. MacArthur also points out about jealousy, "Jealousy is not a moderate or harmless sin. It was Eve's jealousy of God, sparked by her pride, to which Satan successfully appealed. She wanted to be like God, to have what He has and to know what He knows. Jealousy was an integral part of the first great sin, from which all other sin has descended. The next sin mentioned in Genesis is murder, cause by Cain's jealousy of Abel. Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery because of jealousy". We can see that sin is rooted in jealousy and has no place in a person who loves.
Another thing that love is not is boastful. Paul tells us that love "does not brag". There is nothing that takes away more from someone's good act or faithful deed than when they tell others about it for attention. We can see in their heart that the act was done so that they might boast, rather than help the person they lended a hand to. Boasting is similar to jealousy in that rather than being jealous of what others have, you desire to lead others into jealousy by telling them about what you have. In context to the Corinthians, MacArthur points out, "The Corinthian believer's were spiritual show-offs, constantly vying for public attention. They clamored for the most prestigious offices and the most glamorous gifts. They all wanted to talk at once, especially when speaking ecstatically. Most of their tongues-speaking was counterfeit, but their bragging about it was genuine". The biggest problem, is that they did not care about the unity and proper functioning of the church, but rather about getting praise and recognition for themselves. Love and boasting have no place together.
Tied closely with bragging, is arrogance. Paul writes that love "is not arrogant". Paul had mentioned the arrogance of the Corinthians several times in his letter already. In I Cor. 4:6-8 he writes, "Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? You are already filled, you have already become rich, you have become kings without us; and indeed, I wish that you had become kings so that we also might reign with you". Paul was obviously being sarcastic. His point was so that his readers could understand they were not kings, they had not arrived, and anything good they have done has come through Christ. The easiest way to combat pride and arrogance is to remember what Christ has done, and what we were before Him. If we remember our wretched state (slaves to sin, completely depraved) before Christ came, and to know what He has done for us, it would keep many of us from ever thinking more highly of ourself than we ought to. Christ loved us in order that we might love Him. He humbled himself to become a finite being on our behalf, any gift we have comes from him, what do we have to boast about?
Paul then explains that love "does not act unbecomingly". MacArthur writes, "The principle here has to do with poor manners, with acting rudely. It is not as serious a fault as bragging or arrogance, but it stems from the same lovelessness. It does not care enough those it is around to act becomingly or politely. It cares nothing for their feelings or sensitivities. The loveless person is careless, overbearing, and often crude". We cannot truthfully say we love someone when we do not put their tastes and cares above ours. Even if we don't have a problem with something, if it offends or turns off another person, we should refrain from doing it. It is not our job to deem what is appropriate or inappropriate, but rather, that we would love by being sensitive to what others needs are. Paul spoke about this extensively regarding the weaker brother and the example of the food sacrificed to idols. True love is caring more about the person that being correct.
Another negative as to what love is not, is that it "does not seek its own". This is closely correlated to all the other things mentioned. If we are not seeking our own good, but the good of others, we will automatically be patient, kind, etc. MacArthur writes, "Love is not preoccupied with its own things but with the interests of others (Phil. 2:4). Again, the Corinthian believers were models of what loving Christians should not be. They were selfish in the extreme. They did not share their food at love feasts, they protected their rights on the point of suing fellow believers in pagan law courts, and they wanted what they thought were the 'best' spiritual gifts for themselves". Paul is quick to show them that this is not acting in a loving way. For us to say we love someone, yet constantly seek what is best for us, and not to consider them, proves that your love is false. Christ himself "did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matt. 20:28).
Another thing that love does not do is that it is "not provoked". Love does not cause others to get angry because of our actions. This obviously does not take into account when people respond sinfully to our righteous indignation over something. But in most circumstances, when it does not include compromising your faith, nothing we say or do should cause others to be angry at us. On the same note, we are not easily provoked either. Accept for in the case of righteous anger, we are not to respond in anger or revenge for anything done to us. This is very similar to the patience that was spoken of earlier. MacArthur writes, "Love does not get angry at others when they say or do something that displeases us or when they prevent us from having our own way (cf. I Pet. 2:21-24). Love never reacts in self-defense or retaliation. Being provoked is the other side of seeking one's own way. The person who is intent on having his own way is easily provoked, easily angered. Again, this can be tied closely with other sins, like arrogance and jealousy. We can easily get provoked or angered when we feel we are owed something, and are being mistreated, or if others have something we desire. These are all wrong reasons to get angry. MacArthur practically illustrates, "Telling our wives or husbands that we love them is not convincing if we continually get upset and angry at what they say and do. Telling our children that we love them is not convincing if we often yell at them for doing things that irritate us and interfere with our own plans".
The last part of this section explains that love "does not take into account a wrong suffered". Again, closely related with patience, this is when we do not keep track of others sin against us, but rather are quick to forgive them and reconcile the relationship. Rom. 4:8 says, "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account". This is the very heart of the matter and is what should come to our mind the second we desire to hold a grudge against someone. MacArthur points out, "In God's heavenly record the only entry after the names of His redeemed is 'righteous', because we are counted righteous in Christ. Christ's righteousness is placed to our credit. No other record exists. That is the sort of record love keeps of wrongs done against it. No wrong is ever recorded for later reference. Love forgives". The words, "remember when you...." should never be spoken from loving lips.
As we can see from this first part of the definition that Christ is the supreme example in each of these. God is love, and therefore, Christ embodied every aspect of love. We must remember that this list is not a checklist of things you need in order to love. Rather, it is a list taken as a whole to explain what the actions of someone who loves would look like. This is a list that is to be taken as a whole. Just because we may not struggle with one area does not mean we have made it. May we be humble in our assessment of our love, and be bold in exercising it.
posted by amesfam | 3:01 PM
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