I Corinthians 7:1-7: "Should I marry?"
Starting in Chapter 7, Paul begins to address questions he received from the Corinthian church in a letter. The first questions Paul addresses are regarding marriage. Paul begins, "Now concerning the things about which you wrote". Apparently a letter had been written to Paul from the Corinthian church. Although we do not know exactly what was written in the letter, we can see from Paul's response some of the issues going on in the church. The first issue Paul addresses is whether it is wrong to be single. Paul begins, "it is good for a man not to touch a woman". At first glance this may seem like a strange comment from Paul. However, when we understand the meaning of the phrase and the context it is used in, we can see what Paul was trying to get across. "To touch a woman" was a Jewish phrase that meant to have sexual relations with a woman. Supporting verses (Gen. 20:6, Ruth 2:9, and Prov. 6:29). With that meaning in mind, Paul is saying that it is good for a man not to have sex with a woman. Understanding that sex is an act that is only to be performed by married couples according to God's word, we can then understand that Paul is saying that it is good for a man to remain single, or unmarried. Apparently in the Corinthian church there were people saying that it was wrong for someone to remain single. MacArthur points out, "Jewish tradition not only looked on marriage as the ideal state but looked on singleness as disobedience of God's command to 'be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth' (Gen 1:28)". Paul's point here is not to say that singleness or marriage is superior to the other. His point is to show that singleness is not wrong and in some cases has distinct advantages to being married.
Paul then moves on to questions regarding marriage and sex. He begins, "But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband". Paul was addressing those who were in a single state and had sexual urges and temptations. MacArthur writes, "Because sexual desire is unfulfilled and can be very strong, there is great temptation to sexual immorality for those who are not married, especially in societies - such as that of ancient Rome and our own - where sexual license is freely practiced and glorified". Paul is in no way advising that one get married to fulfill their sexual drive, or for a single person to go get quickly married to keep from immorality. Paul has a much higher view of marriage as we read in Eph. 5:22-23. However, Paul understands the temptation for sexual immorality when single, and is saying it is better for them to marry one woman or one man and fulfill their sexual desires as God has outlined within marriage than to fulfill it outside of marriage.
We now move from the temptation of immorality when single, to the temptation of immorality within marriage. Paul writes, "Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband". Paul makes it clear that God has given each partner the duty to fulfill his spouses sexual desires. This may seem like an odd command from Paul, however, it was a real issue taking place in the Corinthian church. MacArthur points out, "Because of their erroneous belief in the spiritual superiority of total sexual abstinence, some members in the church practiced it even within marriage. Some overzealous husbands apparently had decided to set themselves apart wholly for God. In doing so, however, they neglected or even denied their responsibilities to their wives, especially in the area of sexual relations". Paul wanted these people to realize, it was not more spiritual, or even right to deny your spouse of sexual relations. He points out to the husband and wife, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does". This was not a free pass to abuse and use your spouse for anything you desired. This obviously takes into account respect, honor, and love for your spouse within the context of your marriage. However, Paul wanted to make clear to those who were withholding sexual gratification from their partner for the sake of being "holier". Paul makes this clear in his command, "Stop depriving one another". Paul wanted them to know that neither he, nor God was being honored even by their so-called "good intentions". MacArthur writes, "God holds all marriage to be sacred and He holds sexual relations between husband and wife not only to be sacred but proper and even obligatory. Paul makes it clear that physical relations within marriage are not simply a privilege and a pleasure but a responsibility. Husbands and wives have a duty to give sexual satisfaction to each other". Not only is it pleasing to God that the husband and wife be satisfied with one another physically, it also keeps the other from temptation. If one spouse is withholding sex from their partner for any reason, it is natural that the other spouse will be tempted to get this satisfaction from other places. This is while Paul writes, "stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control". Here, Paul is giving the practical command that sexual relations between husband and wife are to be regular unless there is a mutually agreed upon time that they will withdraw themselves for the sake of prayer. Just like fasting where we abstain from food for a period of time to devote ourselves to prayer, Paul is saying we may allow time to abstain from physical contact from our spouses to do the same. However, it must be mutually agreed upon, and be only for a short time in which you would then resume regular sexual relations. These verses are key for both the husband and wife to understand that sex is never to be used in anyway to manipulate, intimidate, or get your way. It is to be a regular act in which both partners are satisfied. Sex is a gift from God and we must look at it that way. As husband and wife we must remember that our bodies are no longer our own, but we are now to give it to our spouses. In that God is pleased, not from abstaining.
As Paul has spoken both about being single and married, he summarizes with this, "But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am". Paul makes clear that this is not a command from God, but rather his own point of view that all men were single as he was. It is clear, Paul is referring to the advantage of time and service that one can give when they are not married. MacArthur writes, "In one sense, Paul wished that all believers could be unmarried, even as I myself am. He said that in light of the great freedom and independence he had as a single person to serve Christ. But he did not expect all believers to be unmarried. He did not expect all who were then single to stay single. And for those who were already married it would be wrong to lives as if they were single, to become celibate while married". Paul recognizes this as he writes, "However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that". What we must get from this is that Paul is saying that if you are single or married at this time that it is a gift from God. If you are single, take the gift you have of time and freedom to serve God wholeheartedly. If you are married, love your spouse and honor and respect them through your example. MacArthur closes, "Our purpose should be to discover the gifts he has given us and to use those gifts faithfully and joyfully in His service, without either envying or disparaging the gifts we do not have".
Paul then moves on to questions regarding marriage and sex. He begins, "But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband". Paul was addressing those who were in a single state and had sexual urges and temptations. MacArthur writes, "Because sexual desire is unfulfilled and can be very strong, there is great temptation to sexual immorality for those who are not married, especially in societies - such as that of ancient Rome and our own - where sexual license is freely practiced and glorified". Paul is in no way advising that one get married to fulfill their sexual drive, or for a single person to go get quickly married to keep from immorality. Paul has a much higher view of marriage as we read in Eph. 5:22-23. However, Paul understands the temptation for sexual immorality when single, and is saying it is better for them to marry one woman or one man and fulfill their sexual desires as God has outlined within marriage than to fulfill it outside of marriage.
We now move from the temptation of immorality when single, to the temptation of immorality within marriage. Paul writes, "Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband". Paul makes it clear that God has given each partner the duty to fulfill his spouses sexual desires. This may seem like an odd command from Paul, however, it was a real issue taking place in the Corinthian church. MacArthur points out, "Because of their erroneous belief in the spiritual superiority of total sexual abstinence, some members in the church practiced it even within marriage. Some overzealous husbands apparently had decided to set themselves apart wholly for God. In doing so, however, they neglected or even denied their responsibilities to their wives, especially in the area of sexual relations". Paul wanted these people to realize, it was not more spiritual, or even right to deny your spouse of sexual relations. He points out to the husband and wife, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does". This was not a free pass to abuse and use your spouse for anything you desired. This obviously takes into account respect, honor, and love for your spouse within the context of your marriage. However, Paul wanted to make clear to those who were withholding sexual gratification from their partner for the sake of being "holier". Paul makes this clear in his command, "Stop depriving one another". Paul wanted them to know that neither he, nor God was being honored even by their so-called "good intentions". MacArthur writes, "God holds all marriage to be sacred and He holds sexual relations between husband and wife not only to be sacred but proper and even obligatory. Paul makes it clear that physical relations within marriage are not simply a privilege and a pleasure but a responsibility. Husbands and wives have a duty to give sexual satisfaction to each other". Not only is it pleasing to God that the husband and wife be satisfied with one another physically, it also keeps the other from temptation. If one spouse is withholding sex from their partner for any reason, it is natural that the other spouse will be tempted to get this satisfaction from other places. This is while Paul writes, "stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control". Here, Paul is giving the practical command that sexual relations between husband and wife are to be regular unless there is a mutually agreed upon time that they will withdraw themselves for the sake of prayer. Just like fasting where we abstain from food for a period of time to devote ourselves to prayer, Paul is saying we may allow time to abstain from physical contact from our spouses to do the same. However, it must be mutually agreed upon, and be only for a short time in which you would then resume regular sexual relations. These verses are key for both the husband and wife to understand that sex is never to be used in anyway to manipulate, intimidate, or get your way. It is to be a regular act in which both partners are satisfied. Sex is a gift from God and we must look at it that way. As husband and wife we must remember that our bodies are no longer our own, but we are now to give it to our spouses. In that God is pleased, not from abstaining.
As Paul has spoken both about being single and married, he summarizes with this, "But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am". Paul makes clear that this is not a command from God, but rather his own point of view that all men were single as he was. It is clear, Paul is referring to the advantage of time and service that one can give when they are not married. MacArthur writes, "In one sense, Paul wished that all believers could be unmarried, even as I myself am. He said that in light of the great freedom and independence he had as a single person to serve Christ. But he did not expect all believers to be unmarried. He did not expect all who were then single to stay single. And for those who were already married it would be wrong to lives as if they were single, to become celibate while married". Paul recognizes this as he writes, "However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that". What we must get from this is that Paul is saying that if you are single or married at this time that it is a gift from God. If you are single, take the gift you have of time and freedom to serve God wholeheartedly. If you are married, love your spouse and honor and respect them through your example. MacArthur closes, "Our purpose should be to discover the gifts he has given us and to use those gifts faithfully and joyfully in His service, without either envying or disparaging the gifts we do not have".
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